I’ve recently had the pleasure of making the acquaintance of the Suburban Domme. In a post she wrote about Gorian philosophy and Gynarchy, I made the comment:
I think that (at the risk of being blasphemous) kink is like faith, it’s entirely personal in the end. We each come to it in our own way and we each must be responsible to it as well. The variations are infinite.
The parallels of kink and faith have been on my mind ever since.
I don’t consider myself religious by any stretch of the imagination. I haven’t been in a church since I was seven years old other than when my parents dragged me for various special events. I don’t believe in religion of any kind. However, I do consider myself a person of faith. I believe in a power greater than ourselves. I believe there is a plan for all of us, but that we are simply limited within our human framework and therefore unable to grasp that plan in all of its complexities.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown more accepting of the various incarnations of faith among humans. I have no issue if you get on your knees and pray, or chant mantras, meditate, or hold a snake. I really don’t. To each his own. We must all find our personal way of dealing with life and its vagaries. We must all find our own way of dealing with the injustice in our reality and the pain and hurt that goes along with it.
For me, that is accepting that there is a creator and trusting that when I don’t know the answer, someone out there does, but if I just keep moving forward and hold onto hope, I will eventually understand.
That is my personal incarnation on faith and spirituality.
Kink, to my way of thinking, is very much like this. Take, for instance, the BDSM community. In my research, I’ve come across Tops, Doms, Dommes, subs, sadists, masochists, fetishists of all kinds. No two people that I meet are the same. Some Doms love belts, others only want whips and floggers. Some subs are okay with anal others aren’t. Some kinksters need latex and rubber others want their faces contorted via steampunk-like contraptions that I still can’t figure out.
The point that I am making is that the incarnations of kink are too varied and too numerous to truly categorize with any granularity. I personally, love that.
Why should it be homogenized? Why must all Dommes be one thing? Why must all subs want the same thing.
Kink, like faith, has a unifying thread. In kink that thread is that our (yes, people, I said “our”) proclivities fall outside of what society has determined is traditional, accepted and therefore “normal” by default. The unifying thread in faith is the belief in a higher power that influences our daily lives.
One of the most beautiful things in both kink and faith, is that there is truly someone for everyone. With so many varieties to choose from, it’s inevitable.